She would suggest that when I was writing, to pretend I was talking. Take a breath. Anywhere you take a breath put in a comma. I still sometimes wonder if I use the semicolon correctly; such as here?I became a drawing fiend in my class this year. I would draw top down views of little cars on race tracks. I would even draw 'damaged' cars in wrecks on the speedway.I know this was my dad watching the Auto Races on TV. The influence was very strong.There was more yelling between my parents. And they did not seem to care at this point if any of us kids were in earshot.I know we always get told that it is not the kids fault. Whatever is going on between your parents is only between them. I would find out soon after the coming storm that in many ways we all find a way to blame ourselves for something that affects the family dynamic.I know I made myself get into so many situations after my 'hole in the ground' incident.It was like I wanted them to yell and scream at me so I could break down. And what he does to me. What he makes me do. He exudes power. Mastery. Images of that clinical torture chamber inside the vault keep appearing on the fringes of my mind and fleeting questions about what he would do to me there. No. It isn’t ‘would.’ It is ‘will.’ If I am honest with myself I will admit that something inside me reacts to the certainly of that ‘will.’ Is that what I want? What has he revealed in me that I never knew was there? I must regain control of myself. Or do I really what to? Winston It is too much, I thought, as the oar blades fractured the smooth surface of the Charles into a million points of light. Or, much, much more accurately, too little. All she does is work and sleep. I didn’t think it could get worse, but it has. I can’t imagine it will get any worse, but somehow I expect it will. This is not a marriage. At least not my idea of a marriage, though I suppose it is how most people live. Pulling hard on the oars, I vented my frustration and anger as I.
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