Ding!What the hell is going on? I raised my head to look over at my phone on the nightstand. Who the hell keeps texting me on this lazy Saturday morning? I leaned over to grab the annoying phone. I had six messages from different unknown numbers.The first message read, 'I got what you need'I opened the attachment. My face screwed up in disgust."Ewwww! Really?" What?" Heather asked."Someone just sent me a dick pic." What?"I rolled over and showed her. Her pretty face screwed up with revulsion.I opened the next message. Another dick pic, this one fully erect in some guy's hand. And then another dick pic with a long curved dick jutting erect from a hairy groin.Sitting up, I exclaimed, "What the fuck is going on?!"The fifth message from Alex explained it all.'Hi. I knew you in high school. This doesn't sound like you. I think you're being pranked.'Attached was a link. I opened it. My mouth fell in horror. On a hook-up app was a fake profile of me. Posted was an old spring break photo of. One wife and one mistress is a healthy number for a man your age, an overripe onion just like me. You have enough work with your many offices and duties. Don’t tax your health too much,” Lady Marya informed him.“Yes, well, speaking of marriages, I’ve had an offer from Lady Melessa Tarly of Horn Hill. She offers her daughter, Lady Talla Tarly of Horn Hill, her hand in marriage to our Devan. Imagine such a match, by every god known to man! Our boy ... married to the heiress of Lord Randyll Tarly himself! That would make Samwell Tarly, the Grand Maester, his brother-in-law, too. What do you think, dear ... and what do you think, Salladhor Saan?” Lord Davos asked both his wife and his old friend at once.“It’s an excellent match, to be sure. What do you think, Abrey?” Lady Marya wondered.“Certainly a good one, m’lady,” Abrey blushed and curtsied yet again, not used to being put on the spot.“Speaking of matches, I don’t suppose that I’ll get to fuck the blonde queen this time, her being on.
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