”Cheerfully, “Fuck you.”“So, serious people, The Restoration.”“They seem to be. Know what an eukaryotic cell is?”“Of course.”He didn’t call me on the little fib. Okay, big fat lie.“I ran into something like The Restoration’s organization outside of Brighton Beach. The Ukrainian Mafia. Actually, the Odessa subset. They mapped out neighborhoods all over Brooklyn and parts of Queens and The Bronx. Each cell was independent of all the others. In theory, they didn’t even know each other. Most of the foot soldiers were fresh off the boat. Only the guys at the very top knew the players, the assignments, the overall strategies for dope and prostitution, loan sharking and home invasions.”“And you think Kansas City and Houston are like that?”“Maybe. Too early to tell. But it wouldn’t surprise me — it’s asymmetric warfare in a way. The Restoration guerrillas against the weight and majesty of the hated United States government.”“And compartmentalization works how?”“Remember, it’s just our theory. The process is very time-sensitive—I have exactly thirteen seconds after an orgasm to get up and shake it off before I get horny again. Thirteen seconds goes by pretty fast, so it’s a pretty demanding act, in terms of will. If procrasturbating were an Olympic sport, I’d be a fucking gold medalist. But like I said, I don’t need help—I’ve designed a system: I get ready an hour ahead of time so that I’m free to touch myself until the very last second, until I need to get on with my daily schedule. I take my shower , blow dry my hair, and get fully dressed (except for pants, which I take out of the drawer and leave at the foot of the bed) before I lie down, close my eyes, and start the cycle.If not a full-on masturbation addict, I’m certainly an emotional masturbator. When I’m sad, happy, grouchy, or just bored, my hand automatically reaches down into my underwear and onto my cock. I can hardly be left alone for a few minutes on a comfortable piece of furniture without rubbing myself..
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