.Why don't you put the cover on the parrot cagetonight and we will talk this over."I went down to put the cover on the cage and the parrot said "PrettyPolly" as usual."Yeah, that's what I am wearing I said bowing to parrot and opening mypalms so as to show off my legs."Why was I doing this? This is the sort of thing you saw some bimbo doingon the television. Was it worse than I thought? Was I a bimbo trapped ina man's body?Anyway I then went upstairs and Carol helped me to get changed. She saidI could do with some help smartening myself up, doing my hair and nails,so I sat by her mirror as she smartened me up.Something was making her laugh."What's the joke?" I asked."Take your trousers off in front of the mirror, Nicola."Suddenly I was confused. I couldn't see the mirror or my trousers.What?What was I wearing? It looked like a French Maid's outfit. Wait! Thatbeautiful blonde French Maid I was looking at - THAT WAS ME!OMIGOD! She had just turned me into a French Maid!"Carol! . I can live with that. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be watching a Smallville DVD on Crystal Benoit’s titanic flat TV Screen. I’ve never seen a TV that big! Yeah, I’m having fun at Crystal’s place. She’s currently at work and I’ve got the place all to myself. As they say in the hood, it’s all good! Alright, let’s review. I’ve been having a tough time lately. My family, whom I described once as a bunch of treacherous and manipulative snakes, seemed on the verge of discovering the fact that I’m a writer. They’re a bunch of evil people. From my sociopathic aunt to my psychopathic sister, my neurotic uncle and my bitchy cousin. My mother the abandoner and my absentee father also number among those who make my life much harder than it has to be. Yeah, so many negative influences in this man’s life. And people wonder why I seem to mad at the world sometimes. All the while I was attending Brockton State College, I received very little encouragement from any of them. I lived a few miles.
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