Thoughts were difficult and elusive. I wished someone were there with me. I was alone here. I knew that much but not much else. I tried calling out and thought I could hear my own voice, it seemed too small, like the sound waves were bleeding off rather than carrying my voice like they should.I had the thought that I should enjoy it and take the chance to get some sleep. It was dark and I was comfortable. It seemed like the best thing to do. I was tired. A lot had happened. I was so tired. It was so hard to go on and it was so comfortable here. I could just stay here. It was nice. There was nothing to bother me. No worries, no cares, no pain.That last disturbed me. Why would I think about pain? Suddenly, sleeping didn’t seem like as good an idea. I felt like laying down would be bad. I couldn’t say why, but I knew that something bad would happen if I did.That’s when I started to listen. I needed to get back. ‘Get back where?’ I asked myself. They were waiting for me. ‘Who?’ I needed. You will have to go up to Chevez and stick him in the liver from behind,’ said Mr. Big. Snake spoke, ‘The Chevez group has been getting away with too much. He has to be done away with. I’ll show you how to do it.’ He got up and poked me in the side with his finger. ‘One stab right there and he will be a goner. Make sure you keep the napkin around the knife handle and take it with you after the stabbing. The two of them walked out of my cell. I was shaking. In order to be part of the group, I had to kill the man who raped me more than once. If I didn’t do it, I’d be thrown to the wolves. I sat in my cell trying to calm myself down till dinnertime. I was in line with my tray. I saw Chevez sitting where he usually sat with a few members of his gang. He saw me in the line and kind of smirked at me. It made me angrier and would help me get the nerve to do what I had to do. Snake put some mashed potatoes on my plate and a shiv wrapped in a napkin. I got the rest of my food and headed to.
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