I fucking know it is.After a few deep breaths I turn on my heels and begin the first stage ofmy journey. Clarendon Road being one of the busier thoroughfares thatcriss-cross Southsea's residential sector, the stream of headlights frompassing cars and vans is more or less constant. Each one of them seems tobe deflected right at me, as though the studs on my jacket spelled out thephrase 'NOT REALLY A GIRL' for everyone to laugh at. Just asdisconcerting, I've lost seven or eight inches in height; everything looksthat much bigger and therefore that much more intimidating. Only thethought of that first glorious injection of nicotine keeps me plodding on.A woman overtakes me. Until earlier today it would have been the other wayaround. What was once a rarity will now become the norm. Then I encountera young couple; my instinct is to step aside and let the girl pass, buther boyfriend has already paid me that compliment. I sense theirunconscious reactions to my momentary intrusion: he wonders. Abby and I met three months previously at a cocktail party given by her godfather, Jason Worth, who was my client at the time. I was working and she thought I was funny. When I finished the job, I called her and we went to dinner at my favorite St. Louis restaurant, Rigazzi’s on the Hill. On that first date, I, er we, were confronted and accosted by the guy I’d sent to jail for trying to blackmail Mr. Worth, Ralph James, the blackmailer, was out on bail waiting for his court date. After the confrontation, I sent him back to jail, again. Abby wasn’t put off by the fight and with a big grin said, ‘You sure know how to show a girl a good time.’ Our relationship flourished from that point. After that night, Abby was off the dating market as far as I was concerned, she apparently agreed with me. We saw each other three of four times a week and even had a sleep over at her place or mine a couple of times. This was our first full weekend together. According to Abby, we were at the, meet the.
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