I'll be the first to admit that when things would get hot and I was on the brink of erotic surrender, I would sometimes freeze up and ask him to stop. It had nothing to do with him. I was letting old tapes play in my head about being used, about men in my past who didn't mind sexing me up but didn't want a relationship with me. Charles wanted our lovemaking to be unfettered by fear or negativity; I didn't want to have any emotional blocks between us. And we both wanted us to join in a union of transcendent, unparalleled ecstasy so we waited until the time was right.Other times, the subject of sexuality never entered our evening experience. Sometimes, I could sense that I shouldn't initiate anything romantic or sexual between us because he was at his very limit for frustration. I would hug him and he would give me a look letting me know that I needed to back off. On those nights, after we would part, I would lie in bed alone, pleasuring myself, wanting to call him to me and invite him. ..soon they were finished and I was almost lifeless laying there.....they drug me off the mattress and into the dirt...they all stood around me in a circle and began to piss all over me...they were all laughing at the cum filled and piss soaked homo runner boy....I was going to get up and leave when the one guy was like where the fuck do you think you are going and 4 of them grabbed me and picked me up...Then I heard him say lets carry the fag up the trail to the Mexicans and let them have our sloppy seconds......they carried me through the woods and we came upon the 2nd overpass where instead of all black guys it was all Mexican guys...they walked up and threw me down on a mattress and said have fun amigos, he is a good little whore. Our present...It was like being a piece of raw meat thrown into a lions den. before I could even move they were swarming over me. They lined up and chain fucked me from both ends...much smaller cocks and my throat and ass were so worn out I could.
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