I won’t be very good company”. That was all true and I know I said it sincerely. I looked over to Hiro. I was thinking please, please say yes and let me go home. Please…Hiro looked at me coldly, ”Sethy, I really must insist that you join me.”Shit. I knew Hiro and knew that he could be a dangerous guy if things did not go his way. I experienced that when I broke up with him. Shit. Shit. Shit. I’d better go. If I say no again I don’t know what he will do. “OK, Hiro. One drink. Then please take me home. I’m tired”.We walked out to the parking lot and I got in Hiro’s car. There were no other cars there, so none of Hiro’s men had accompanied him here. I thought to myself that this was unusual. Hiro usually travelled with at least one bodyguard, and often two. Strength in numbers. Maybe he really was sincere and he didn’t want his men to see him apologize to me? I wasn’t sure.We arrived at Hiro’s. I told him I would prefer a cup of tea rather than the cognac if he didn’t mind. He said,. If not, well, the food would be good at the least. And, I’d made another decision: I was going to see my daughter. Six years old she was and she’d never seen her daddy, her real daddy, just the interloper. I wondered if they had known she was mine from the beginning. According to them, not, but did I believe them. I guess I did, but the truth was I was guessing; I didn’t really know. That’s what lost trust will do to a person.At any rate, it would be tough on me being around them knowing I didn’t have a chance in hell of having my baby live with me, but at least they’d not be cutting me out of her life. I was pretty sure of that much. I was also sure she’d without a doubt see me as the lesser of her two daddies.No matter what I did, I could never match up with his situation: money and mommy were his tools into the baby’s heart. Me, I had poverty, no wife, and no prospects. What was to choose? Whatever the baby would think of me would be what the two cheaters wanted her to think, no.
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