I believe if he had ever seen me interacting with my uncles, martial arts instructors, swimming coach, and Roger Smith, he would have known the first one was untrue. He also ignored the very good reasons he gave me, all on his own, to think less of him.He probably would have caught Iris and me naked in the same bed the week before we left, if a fresh round of hostilities between him and my mother had not broken out. Those arguments forced living arrangements for the summer, which almost convinced me the fates took a certain voyeuristic pleasure in arranging the details of my sex life.But something else happened before we left; Rachel and I had an encounter, which changed our relationship.The twins invited me to stay over the night before I left. They were a little apprehensive about spending the whole summer with no one to run interference. The twins did not get along with other people; emotionally, they did not need anyone else. I never pushed it, but Rachel did and was rebuffed at. Something more than an hour later, Sandy arrived. I had made us coffee, although it was very late, and I should have been thinking about bed -- and sleeping.Sandy gave me a tender, much-needed hug, murmured something that sounded like "poor baby," and joined me at the table in her big old-fashioned kitchen. For some reason, "poor baby" was a lot more acceptable to me than "that's so sweet!" had been."What happened?" she asked. She'd been there. She knew, essentially, what had happened. What she meant was, why did I take myself out of the game?"I was flinching again," I said."Could you see all right?" I could see OK. I felt like I was seeing the ball. But it was just like the other time. I was flinching. It was worse than the other time. Because, then, I didn't feel like I was flinching, even if, maybe, I was. This time, I really was. I could feel it myself." You're gonna be OK," Sandy said."We got ten more games to play. I better be OK." You tell Paul you need to sit out tonight's.
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