The waitressflittered from table to table taking orders and flirting with everyone.To Mary, the waitress had the looks of a homecoming queen, the body of abathing suit model and the personality of a Labrador puppy.Eventually, she made it to Mary's table, standing very close, lookingdown at her and fluttering her heavily massacred eyelashes at Mary sheasked, "How may I help you?" Seeing the disbelief in Mary's expression,she smiled broadly and said, "Welcome to the Twilight Zone. The owner isa real eccentric and insists on the 50's Malt shop motif, including thisridiculous waitress uniform. Are you passing through or planning onstaying for a while?" Yes and yes. I am following the route of the last wagon train to usethe Oregon Trail, and my car broke down so I guess I will be here for afew days at least."Liz sank onto a chair facing her new friend and prattled on about nothingin particular. She would get up occasionally to serve a customer butreturned to her seat and then picked. Luckily, they had an elastic belt that went with them, and I thought I might be able to cinch it tight enough to where they might stay on. I stepped into them, feeling a little nasty about going out in public without underwear, and found that they would stay on if I pulled the belt as tight as it would go. I looked in the mirror to see a topless beauty wearing VERY baggy shorts! The next problem I had to tackle was my breasts. The Aztec magician who had created these earrings must have had a thing for amply endowed women, because my breasts were quite large for the rest of my petite body. I knew that if I put just a T-shirt over them, I would have a gaggle of enamored men following my every bounce and jiggle! I decided on the one button-down shirt I had brought with me. Even with the extra flesh of my chest, it was still way too big and hung down to nearly my knees. Rather than tuck it in as I had originally thought, I tied the shirttails together around my flat belly. I looked at my.
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