Johnson, had been baiting her when he asked in group what Erica thought constituted the start of someone's transitioning - i.e. the prerequisite for aproval for surgery. "Why did I have to come out so strongly?" she asks herself again angrily. "Must I come to group in heels and fishnet stockings to convince him that I have started transition?" It was so pathetic," Erica mutters as she thinks back to how she and her sister used to bath together as kids. At first it did not bother Erica that her thing was 'built-out' and not 'built-in' like her sister's. But when she learned that it was the thing that made her a boy, she hated it. It was like a wart - only bigger and uglier. Whenever she had a bath she would keep it wedged away so tightly behind her crossed legs until it felt like her legs would break off. How many times did she pray when going to bed that she would wake up as a girl again. But every morning, the thing was still there, mocking her.Then there was the day that she. I slipped into the bednext to my wife without waking her and quickly fell asleep.The following morning I opened my eyes and felt a bit disoriented. Thefirst thing I noticed was that the bed I was in wasn't a king size. Itwas much smaller, and my wife was nowhere to be seen. Looking around Isaw several posters with cartoon characters on them. Various toys andkids clothes were strewn around the room. I sat up and saw that I wassleeping in a bed in the shape of a racecar. I threw off the sheets andjumped onto the floor. I walked over to a mirror that was hanging on thecloset door. The reflection staring back at me was a boy who lookedlikehe was about eight years old. I put my hand up to my face and felt mysmooth chin. It had been a long time since I had woken up and not hadstubble on my face. I looked at myself a little further and saw that Iwas wearing green Peter Pan pajamas.I had to fight the urge to leave the room and find out where I was. Iexamined my reflection a little more.
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