But in private, I'm a closet queer. I don't like to use the word "gay" because I think that word minimizes what we are; homosexuals. The truth is that I like all things male. I like the looks of a man, his body, his face, and especially, his cock.I have been queer since I was ten years old. When I started masturbating at that age, I didn't fantasize about girls and women. I fantasized about boys and men. I wanted to be around males as much as possible. I was a Boy Scout for several years and I loved to go on camping trips where I might see my fellow Scouts swimming naked. I wanted nothing more than to suck all their cocks, but I was too afraid to initiate anything.I have lived as a straight man all my life with many girlfriends, several wives and stepchildren, but if I had the nerve, I would have preferred to live the "queer life." I was sexual with all these women and I was a good lover, but I always had a yen for men. More than once I had to use the fantasy of sex with a man to get. That same sweaty party of more than 10,000 strangers felt an old worn memory from a place they’d left deep in the past. They were a couple now and while they were both barely into their late twenties, she felt like her mind had moved onto other more important things.They’d grown up after all, hadn’t they?She watched Shane’s eyes as he glanced back at her, and saw a smear of defeat. He was disappointed in her. In them. The silence between them began to feel stagnant, like water that was no longer running freely between them. While a sense of predictability and boredom had slowly been creeping into their relationship, Megan felt it very tangibly for the first time that night. He wanted this, she realized, to return to the place of their beginning. She felt her resolve starting to weaken despite everything within her that wanted to fight against what those tickets represented.“Well,” she said finally, sensing the obvious standoff between them. “Since you already got the tickets, I guess.
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