I eavesdropped on the conversation my dream girl was having with her friends and to my surprise the topic was blow jobs. My courage was high from the many green beers I had put away so I pulled off a move that I, in my buzzed state, considered epic (I still think it was epic BTW). In one deft motion I slid my chair from my booth over to theirs. ‘I’m John and your conversation sounds better than the one at my table.’ I said boldly, ‘and you are?’ ‘Lisa’ she replied. Her friends answered as well but I wasn’t really paying attention and I think they knew it. She wasn’t my type at all. I prefer short, petite brunettes with asses that jiggle and she was a tall, busty blonde. It didn’t matter. I was smitten. I asked what she did for a living and her response to me was to hold up her left hand and say ‘Do you know how many penises I have held in this hand?’ to which I replied ‘That means you’re either a nurse or a whore.’ That got a huge laugh from her friends, turns out they were all. She'll be happy to see you and me, too, for all that. But she won't remember either of us for five minutes once we're out of sight."Kate considered. "All right. Let's get dressed. I've got some things in my room that are somewhat appropriate." No," I said."No?" I already told you – way back before you spoiled me for other women – you won't ever wear that bra, or anything like it, and you won't wear panties like those either." I tried on an imitation Irish brogue: "Yer gonna have ta get some new underthings, lassie."She laughed. "That's terrible. Worst Irishman I've ever heard. Just terrible ... But ok. Where shall we shop?" There's a Fredericks of Hollywood just across the street." But they have scandalous things in there." Mmmh Hmmm," I replied with a smile."Only for undergarments. I won't wear their idea of clothes. I couldn't." Even for Pirate John?" Not for a pirate I've just met. If we're still seeing each other in six months, ask me again." If?" I said astonished. "IF??" I.
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