They finally figured out how each of them could have a smoke. they opened the pack and threw one cigarette over the side. That made the lifeboat a cigarette lighter.School was having show & tell. Johnny came up to the blackboard, picked up the chalk, and drew two dots. He put the chalk down in the tray. He turned to face the class, but he didn’t say anything for a minute.Teacher: “Johnny, what are you telling us?”Johnny: “You told us that these are periods, didn’t you?”Teacher: “Yes.”Johnny: “Well, my big sister, Katie, has missed two of them, and everybody at home is mad.”Mary, Margaret, and Maude all taught Sunday School in the same church. They were riding together in the same car to a Sunday School Conference when a truck crashed into the car. They all died, and all arrived together at the pearly gate.“Taught Sunday School, eh?” Saint Peter said. “That gets you in, if you taught the truth.”“Who was the first woman?” Pete asked Mary.“That’s an easy question,” Mary said. “The first. He grumbled a few swear words into my chest, then sat us up. I crushed my lips against his, causing him to fall backwards, with me landing on top. Taking advantage of the moment, I sat up, while straddling his lower body, and stared down at him, slightly biting my bottom lip. I covered my chest with my arms. I'm sure he noticed my abnormal breathing caused by the way he kept rubbing his hands up and down the sides of my upper legs. I knew I needed him, and he knew I needed him, but I didn’t know if he needed me. Maybe a heartbeat isn’t always the best way to determine a person’s intentions. Oh fuck it, I thought, and I let myself fall forward, connecting my lips with the salty skin that covered his chest. I pushed down, drawing figure eights into the bulge in his pants with my hips, while muttering something even I, myself, couldn't understand. He groaned and gripped my hips with so much force I could already feel bruises forming. “Not here,” he said airily, ceasing my actions.
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