He asked me some tough questions such as ?Why now?? All I could answeris that I am tired of the fear and tired of fighting with myself. Heasked if I could live as a man. I told him I tried that. I told himthat more male hormones would only make me unhappier. I told him thatthe first time I used female hormone the only resistance was fearincluding, at that time, fear of ?homosexuality.? I also explained thatI ran out of money then. It was the main reason I stopped at that time.The next step has been the synagogue. I told the rabbi recently that Iam transsexual. He told me some ?Catch 22? good news. He told me thatthe ruling body of the Jewish Conservative movement said that acompletely post-op transsexual is considered the new sex. Until thenthe person is considered the old sex. The ?Catch 22? part involves theprohibition of cross-dressing in the Torah. How is a woman who issupposed to live 24/7 in her new sex for at least a year beforesurgery, as required by medical standards, and. He then buys Sumathi matching blouses. One of the blouses is sleeveless. Sumathi first opposes the idea of wearing sleeveless blouse at her age. But Ajit insists saying that, “mom, you will look very beautiful in them. Just wear them for my sake.” Sumathi can not say no. When they go the bra shop, the shopkeeper asks for Sumathi’s size. Sumathi blushes at this, her cheek becomes red in embarrassment. She only manages to say, “I am not sure. You have to measure.” The shopkeeper brings his tape and measure Sumathi’s chest size. Ajit is surprised to find that his mom’s breast size is 42, even under her blouse and bra. The shop does not even have any bra for that size. The keeper says, “sister, we do not keep such big size bras in our shop since hardly any bengali lady wears so big sizes. You have to go to the New market where they have a shop which keeps bras imported from USA.”Sumathi is visibly embarrassed at this talk. She is dying in shame. Ajit rescues her from going down under.
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