Years later I told Her how I’d longed to go along, but couldn’t. She said that Aunty Jayne who ran the sessions was ‘very good with shy blokes like me’. It was lovely of Her to be so understanding (and to let me see Her pose), but the problem was more than just nerves – and they were bad enough. Thing is, when looking at photos makes you cum in your pants – Miss Danica made me ALL the time – then you can’t really go to an amateur photo session, or camera clubs. I could hardly turn up in my mac, could I? Not and leave it on and done up throughout the session. But if I didn’t have cover, well, everyone would know what happened to me, wouldn’t they. So I thought it would never happen, and when it did – I was in my 40s by then – it was sheer fluke. For a long time I’d gone round studios, like in Soho, and then Miss Debby Ann Trent’s studio in Stoke, looking like a perv (not difficult of course) and asking pathetically for ‘spare photos’ to buy. The only time a studio did have spare. The other one was aggressively watching me.They let me approach, looked at each other, then Claudia and the Thai gave me a humiliating smile and invited me to join breakfast at their table. The young thai was clever enough to immediately exploit my insecurity and weakness, when he touched my girlfriend openly in front of me and watched her enjoying his hand on her naked leg. He managed to shattered the rest of my self-confidence and within hours he suffocated my last resistance. What I hoped to be a forgetable one night stand turned out to become a take over of my girl for the remaining holidays. He made it absolutely clear that he would stay in the ‘driver’s seat’ for the rest of our holidays, having good sex and being paid for it by a farang girl! On the other hand I understood from Claudia that she somehow enjoyed the macho-behaviour of her non-western exotic lover and that the Thai showed no whatsoever respect for the fact that I had been her boyfriend for so many years. Claudia.
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