David bent a report last week to keep an old couple from getting insurance after a robbery. What the actual fuck, David? At least Lisa was good company, but her family life made it extremely hard to hang out after hours even a little bit.So tonight, you are going to do something you haven’t done since spring break 2015: you’re going streaking.Not in the day, of course. Cover of darkness is pretty paramount. I mean, you don’t want to lose your job if you get arrested or something. But you used to love it, feeling the night air against your skin, your nipples stiff and muscles quivering in excitement, moving unseen from shadow to shadow without anyone being the wiser. Yeah, it’s dangerous, probably way more so than Tinder or other things you’ve sworn off using for risk, but … you don’t know, it just feels RIGHT. And it’s Friday night, the girls are fed and asleep, and the idea of stalking the darkness of your unsuspecting, proper little neighborhood in the nude just sounds too fuckin’. So I quickly headed there. If I had waited too long, I’d have had to trot! There are about six or seven stalls along one wall in this washroom. I picked one about midway, rushed in and closed the door. Dropping my pants and underwear, my bum had hardly hit the toilet, when plop, my bowels moved. What a relief. I had just finished cleaning my butt and was just starting to pull up my pants and underwear when I heard the door open. I stopped and stayed on the toilet for a moment. The guy picked the stall beside me on my right. Hmmmm, I thought. This might get interesting! Under the partition I could see his pants drop on top of his shoes as he settled down. Then his left shoe rose and fell. Then he repeated it. I lifted my right foot and lowered it. I heard a smooching kissing sound. I took this to mean he wanted oral sex. I waggled my foot to indicate no! I reached my right hand down below the partition and wriggled my fingers. If he didn’t want a hand job, so be it, I’d take off. No.
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