In fact, for a while, as they discussed and planned the photos that they wanted to take, there was a partnership there that made him yearn slightly for more than what they had. Still, he shelved it long enough to take the photo of her, walking into the apartment after a long day, with an exhausted look on her face as leaned down to remove the first of her high heels, in an exquisite black and white shot. The second shot was of him. She wanted him in the corner of the room, staring at her, almost like a stalker, his eyes fixated on her but with a blank expression on his face. They had to balance the camera on a stand that she brought out from her bedroom, which was waist high and required some work with napkins to get it to tilt upwards. In the foreground was the site of her curving hip, while in the background he stood there, staring at her. They set the timer, and once they’d arranged everything, it took longer than either thought it would. At one point she said, ‘Don’t flinch,. Were we all struck by loss this day? As the novelty of the casket’s arrival wore away the low rumble of conversation, alive like a beast, rose through the church. I found stilted and faltering words, unknown to me, passing through my lips, and from the mouths of all present. It seemed that the air itself was filled with the buzz of words, but with her death the words were merely sounds to fill the space. The words themselves were dead, and fluttered to the wooden floor like clumsy flies. The owner of our words was wrapped in her shroud and lay in that simple dark box. And so, a chapel filled with a million spoke meaningless gibberish when we attempted to mourn and speak our greatest grief at losing our gift, our Muse. It seems ironic to me that the one moment when all wanted to cherish and remember the cause of letters loved, and stories told, when it was absolutely obligatory to paint our grief in the words she gave us, those words ran dry. I wept. No, I keened because the words I.
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