I can feel the air around me growing heavier with humidity. Electricity is building in the clouds west of the pool where I’m lifeguarding. Making eight dollars an hour, sitting in a lifeguard’s chair, yelling at punky kids and developing my future age spots and wrinkles. Leaving me to wonder if this summer is going to provide anything memorable. For the last two summers I’ve returned to my small-town-in-the-midwest home to save on expenses between college semesters. Nothing ever happens here. Well nothing besides corn, thunderstorms, and boys breaking rules. Its purgatory. I blow my whistle at a group of boys standing in the water below me. They are doing nothing wrong, just ogling me in that way that teenagers look at girls in swim suits (even suits as asexual as the red, one-piece I’m wearing now). I feel droplets of sweat trickle down between my b-cups. I’m covered in a sweat and oil and it occurs to me that with my swimmer’s body I could be making a lot more money being ogled. Food was only humane if you were holding someone prisoner, but that she thanked him for it was something unexpected. No, that wasn’t it, he realized. It’s that her thank you actually made him feel good. She made him feel good about himself. He was startled enough by this realization that he knocked his drink off the counter and had to clean it up. “Of course she makes you feel good, you moron. You can do whatever you want to her and she has no choice but to go along with it” his dark side was obviously trying to downplay his sudden realization. “After what you’ve put her through, you don’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of turning it around.”A powerful wave of regret washed over him as he realized the truth. There was no way that a relationship could ever work. He had abducted, then beaten and raped this girl to within a few inches of her life more than once. That she was still sane was a sort of miracle in its own right.“Then why did she thank you?” his long-repressed.
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