I've tried to ask very few questions, take things as they come, and often let everything ride on serendipity. I hated “should be” or “supposed to be”. Questions often stopped things in their tracks. Is it something to be proud of that Jenn was the only married woman that I personally knew that I ever caught myself fantasizing about? What should I have said when she asked me if we could go to my apartment during lunch? We were only supposed to have coffee, just like any other day over the past 3 years we'd been working in the same building. Sometimes we actually had a proper lunch; other times we'd go for a long walk. Today was just supposed to be coffee. Why was she coming to my apartment then? Why did she ask that I go first and she would arrive five minutes later? Why did I think this was more than about coffee? The questions just rattled on endlessly. It would have made me dizzy if not for a strange, swelling anticipation clearing my head. It suggested I keep those questions to. When she had retrieved her clothes at the beach, she had firstly donned her bra, panties, shorts and top - and then... Coolly and deliberately, she had picked up the shoes and thrown them, with all the energy she could muster, far, far out to sea. She realised as the sane part of her self witnessed the ever more strongermad part doing this rash deed, that some of her madness had not been cauterised by this deed. By the time she had made the journey across the rocks, over the shingle and up the wooden steps, she was dry and warm all over. Her feet hurther a lot and she had a long way to go, much of it over some very sharp stones, but she relished the prospect and her stride never faltered.Two elderly female guests had looked at her with venomous disapproval as she strolled nonchalantly back into the hotel foyer and collected her key from the desk clerk."What time of year does she think it is for Mercy's sake? Cheap little tart." One of the ladies spat at her companion. "Disgraceful!".
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