No matter how many people had seen me, Iwas unable to deny that I was completely enjoying myself, preventingany shame from forming. Much like Tom, if they were observing me, I'dlike to think that they were in awe of my performance.I continued this for another few minutes, attempting to do my best formy unseen spectators. It would have been amazing if once I had finishedmy session, the surrounding houses erupted in applause, where I wouldperform a curtsy to each of them, something that I had often seen inthe ballet tapes we were watching.Hearing a buzzing noise zoom by my left ear, I came to a jarring halt.Rapidly turning around, trying to find the source of it, I spied a beewhich was hovering around me, clearly being attractive to my colourfulleotard, mistaking it for some form of flower. Having a fear of stings,I immediately ended my performance, darting back inside and quicklyclosed the door behind me, ensuring that it hadn't followed.It was at this point, checking the clock, I. Does she think I'mwearing a wig, too? Her crotch feels damp, but otherwise soft. She turnsto my husband momentarily, reaches towards him and says "I'm sorry, butshe's just so hot." Then she starts kissing me again. Where is thisgoing, I wonder. Should I go down on her? It feels like we can keepdoing what we're doing forever. At a certain point, I sense my husbandmoving around in the room. Cassie's computer, open on the table besidean ash tray littered with cigarette butts and a couple of cans of somekind of ghetto alcoholic beverage, pings with incoming email messages. Isense my husband pulling on his pants."Cassie," he says at some point, "I'm sorry. I tried. But this justisn't working for me."* * *Upstairs, in bed, I uncharacteristically ask my husband for a few hitsfrom his joint to unwind. My insides are racing; I'm never going to beable to get to sleep. He inhales, holds it, then blows the smoke into myface, which I do my best to take into my own lungs without going into.
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