Nothing against her, but either do it right or don't do itat all. I suppose that's harsh. I still suck at a lot of this. Being awoman is h-a-r-d.End Diary EntryI continued on my path searching for tgirl acceptance. I made some morefriends. I went to more parties. Boys hit on me. I resisted. I let afew take some pictures of me. I worked on my voice, I worked on my walk,I worked on my way. I could definitely flirt, especially if I was at thebar and there were drinks to be purchased. I knew just when to smile, totouch an arm, to rest my hand on a thigh. These boys wanted to take myflower (I supposed), they wanted to put their cock in my mouth. I justwent home. I was still into girls.And that was basically it. For a while anyway. I'd go out with my t-friends, we'd have a blast and I'd go home. Some of them were gettinginto sex with guys. I was still the demure type. But I began thinkingabout having sex with men at some time in mid-2003. My friends were openabout it. . I was afraid that you would have turned your back on me and so I snuck around behind your back and managed to screw things up anyway."That night at the bar was the third time I dated another guy. The first two I didn't even like well enough to kiss goodnight, but I liked Steve, the one you hit, enough so that I was going to go to bed with him. I didn't though, because he got up and stormed out of the bar and left me there. I did get laid that night. I was hurt and upset and I sat there and drank and I let some guy pick me up. It was awful. Wham, bam and get out of my car bitch before you stain my seat covers."I tried to talk to you but you wouldn't even answer my calls. Then I got mad and went on a man binge. I had sex with at least eighteen different guys before I realized that I felt nothing for any of them and that every one of them lacked the ability to make me feel the way that you made me feel. Please Brian, give me another chance, please?"I didn't know what to say. It sounded.
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