“No. I don’t think she’ll care though.” I replied.“Really?..” Lexi stared at me. “Your girlfriend isn’t gonna care that you are going to a wedding with all your old friends and that your ex-girlfriend is going to be there, and you’re probably both gonna get shitfaced?”Alexis had been my best friend for about two years. She was a lesbian and that kept our banter strictly friendly. There was never a risk of getting nervous or lying to get laid. It was nice to have a woman’s opinion on things.“She’s not really my girlfriend…” I trailed off.“That’s right. You’re ‘keeping it casual’ right?” she laughed. “So, are you nervous about seeing Belinda again?”“A little.” I sighed. “I mean, I shouldn’t be. We broke up like 5 years ago. We still talk and have dinner every once in a while.”“Yeah, like twice a year.” Lexi remarked snidely. “When was the last time you saw her?”“I don’t know. Maybe April?” I wondered.“Well that’s a lot longer than usual.”“Yeah. She started dating some guy. ”Intruder: “Where do you keep your valuables?” There was a quiet pause. “Well?”Dad: “In the basement, behind the painting, you’ll find a safe. The combination is 21-16-39.” My mom was just shaking her head. The intruder walked down to the basement and a few moments later he returned with a small bag. Intruder: “Thank you for your donation. I think there is close to $10,000 here.”Mom (looking at dad): “Why did you tell him where the safe is?” with a look of disapproval.Dad: “Because our safety is more important. I am sorry that you never like my decisions.”Intruder: “It seems that your family is dysfunctional. Since you have helped me tonight, I am going to return the favor. Your family needs an intervention. We are going to explore the roots of your problems.”Intruder (turning to mom): “You appear to be frustrated with your husband. When have you had sex with him?” Mom (hesitantly): “It’s been more than 3 years. I don’t enjoy sex with him. I’ve never had an orgasm during 20 years of.
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