Not yet,” I whispered to my girlfriends.“You don’t need to say anything until you’re ready,” Rachel said. “We’ll be here. We can talk or just stay quiet if you want.”I buried my face in Beca’s hair and squeezed Rachel’s hand. They would be here with me.I had a continuous headache. I couldn’t tell if it was from the blow I took or from the crying. My throat was sore. Otherwise, I was pretty much just numb. After hearing my stomach growl, the nurse made sure I got some food, too. Just cold cereal and fruit, but I didn’t taste it anyway. I guess I hadn’t eaten since lunch the previous day.“You two need to go to school,” I said. “I’ll be okay.” They just shook their heads.“We need to be with you,” Beca said. “It’s where we belong. We’ll go to the airport and meet Emily with you.”“She can come?”“They allow bereavement leave in the case of parent or sibling death,” Rachel said. “It’s not much but she’ll be here for the ... memorial.”Memorial. She’ll be here for the funeral. Then she’ll. You were desperate for that gasp; the sharp intake of air followed by the reverberations of a shallow moan hitting the fraction of space between us, as you pushed deeply inside me, as I tenderly opened to you.We had both been silently agreeable to our efforts to suspend time, but neither of us could take it any longer.I carefully lowered myself onto you, coating every inch of where you ached with my slick heat. Our gasps and moans mingled as we felt every jolt of energy passing between us, every tiny sensation as flesh welcomed flesh, as you stretched me, as you filled me, as I slowly impaled myself on you. Our bodies pressed closer together until the space between us seemed indistinct, as though particles of you may have forever merged with particles of me. With my chest pressed to yours, our breaths became a synchronous rise and fall.We became everything fluid then, flawless motions and matched rhythms that were everything impulsive to us, like sharply attuned muscle memory. You.
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