I'm picking my girlfriend Brittanyup at the bus station in an hour, where she's due back after spending theweek at her parents' place. We had a hellacious blowup the morning Idropped her off, and we haven't spoken or communicated at all since sheleft, and for reasons that will become clear, I'm actually grateful forthe silence.I didn't have to give my outfit a lot of thought. I put on a red knitdress, knee-high black leather boots, and a black biker jacket. I hadchosen this outfit for a very specific reason. Brittany was wearing itthe first time we met.As I drove up to the bus station, I was wondering whether or not Brittanywould recognize me, since when I had dropped her off a week before I hadstill been a guy. Everyone else I know seems to have forgotten that mymale self ever existed, and maybe that's how Brit will be too. Butsomething tells me she remembers the old me, and I want to be prepared.I thought it might be better if she approached me instead of having me,an apparent. Gradually, however, both the frequency and the depth of this expression increased to the point she was saying it every time he kissed her goodbye or goodnight, every time they talked on the telephone, every time they finished having sex. She gazed into his eyes sometimes and proclaimed this love at the dinner table, or while they sat on the couch together, or while they sipped drinks in the back of a limo on the way somewhere.Jake always felt awkward at these moments, unsure just what to say. He did not tell her he loved her in return because he knew it wasn't true. He liked her as a person, as a conversationalist. He lusted after her body in a sexual manner. He enjoyed her company, enjoyed having her live with him and be his girlfriend. But love? No, not even close.Jake had been in romantic love with a woman two and a half times before in his life. The first had been Michelle Borrows, who had given him the ultimatum to either quit music and become a respectable member of society or.
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