I couldn't get used to the fact that a boy could see those parts of my body that I kept private all of these years. My breasts and my vulva seemed to tingle as if the act of looking created a physical connection between his eyes and my body. What was more disturbing was that now that the rapes had already occurred and the fear was not as great my body seemed to be reacting to being touched and being seen in ways that it hadn't before.I wasn't about to start begging boys to "take me I'm yours." But I couldn't deny that spending the day in the nude with boys around was different than being nude and alone. Don't misunderstand. I was not beginning to enjoy my involuntary servitude and my mental state was nearly as fragile and as unstable as Tawney's was now.The future seemed so hopeless. I felt like crying all the time. I wanted to find someplace to hide. And yet my skin tingled because I was naked, on display, and helpless to do anything but submit to my brother and anyone else he might. “Does this oven work?” Sal asked.“As far as I know.” She looked at what he had frozen pizza and spaghetti O’s. “Are you putting that on top?” Kay wrinkled her nose.“Hey it’s good.” And they laughed. Sal turned on the oven and it didn’t work. “Where is the fuse box?”“Basement.” Kay pointed.“Be right back.”Luca cleared his throat. “Kay, I got you this walkie-talkie.”“Why? It’s kind of big isn’t it?”“Safety reasons, if you get into trouble, push and hold this button. It will send out an alarm beep and one of us will respond.”While Luca was showing Kay the walkie talkie, Moe and Paulie were checking out the weapons. Peter was making more coffee.“Hey Luca, you better come down here!” Sal yelled.“Be right there.” He called back then looked back at Kay. “Okay, are you sure that you understand how it works?”“I think I can figure it out. If not, you can show me again.” Kay smiled at himLuca turned to go see what Sal wanted.“Yeah bud?” Luca said as he started down the stairs.“I went to move.
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