It was never planned it just happened, mom and dad would be gone for the night or we’d be downstairs cleaning and it would just happen.Jacob told me early on that nobody called what he had a penis; well unless you were a little k** or a doctor. It was a cock or a dick. And he laughed every time I called what I had my hole or my vagina. It’s a pussy, snatch or cunt he told me, oh and nobody called that tiny bud I had by it’s full name, it was just a clit. He’d watch me make myself wet and I’d watch him stroke himself until he’d leak that clear liquid he called pre-cum. I wanted more, but I wasn’t sure exactly what else I wanted. The boys at the college avoided me like the plague and I was convinced it was because I was unattractive. I knew my brother had girlfriends, but I wasn’t sure what they did together if anything. We were walking home from classes one day when sirens started going off. A tornado was coming. Jacob grabbed my hand and we ran as fast as we could. We were only. Impotence: nature’s way of saying, “No hard feelings...”5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - ‘don’t’ and ‘stop’, unless they are used together.6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.7. There are three stages in a man’s life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.8. Virginity can be cured.9. Virginity is not dignity, it’s lack of opportunity.10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small.12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.13. Question: What’s an Australian kiss? Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man’s life? Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn’t.16..
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