Ted had introduced Sally to coke not quite three years previously, and it had gradually come to play an ever-bigger role in her life. She was lost in reverie when she felt Matt’s arms enfold her from behind. She turned and kissed him with a warmth she didn’t entirely feel. She knew what lay ahead, what Matt would want in exchange for the coke, especially considering she didn’t have near enough cash on hand to pay for what she needed. But Sally had grown accustomed to being used as barter for goods and services, and, to be honest, she felt like she could use a good fucking right about then. She hadn’t had any sex since the previous Saturday, a little over three days ago, when Ted had visited her right before his fatal car crash. For Sally, that was a long time to go without sex. And there were worse things than sex with Matt, who was tall and handsome with a long ponytail that gave him a certain flair. Still, she was looking forward to regaining a measure of control over her life,. It wasn't really intentional, I did it without thinking, but I caught Susan's smile as she looked down and put her hand on top of mine."No, I'm fine now." She said, looking up.We talked mostly about me on the way to the base, about what my plans were for the future. I was afraid I was boring her, but Susan seemed interested. She asked a lot of questions and I didn't have answers to a lot of them. It was maybe the first time anyone or anything had made me ask myself what I was doing, where I wanted to be in 2 or 5 or 10 years. Of course Susan lived with planning her life like that, she had to. She couldn't just get by with living from day to day the way most of us do. Not for the first time that night, and far from the last time in our relationship, Susan had found the simplest and easiest means to teach me something about myself. And through that, I was learning more about her as well.As I was turning off the freeway onto the exit for the base a sudden and terrible thought occurred.
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