‘From the look on your face’ he said, ‘you haven’t seen one of these before, have you?’I had to confess my ignorance, and was thus introduced to his ‘flogger!’ It looked such an innocuous instrument and it was with some complacency that I obeyed his command to pull my skirt up over my back, my knickers down to mid thigh and bend over. On the instruction to grasp my ankles and open my legs wider I was instantly obedient. Even when the first lash flashed across both bottom cheeks I did not comprehend what a severe whipping would be like. You see, although one speaks in a generic way of school whippings it’s something which has not actually happened in English schools since Victorian times and no 1950’s era English schoolgirl (or boy) would have experienced such punishment. After thirty or so lashes I could see why! My arse felt as though I had gone for a wee in the woods, pulled my knickers down and thoughtlessly crouched down in a bed of stinging nettles! I started to make some sort. I'm not sure anything I've written in the past ten years is as hot as that last journal entry. It was written before I had ever been kissed and before I had ever had anything remotely resembling a boyfriend. I had never seen porn, outside of a single still frame picture I found in the bathroom. The picture was of a woman bent down with a man inside her that one of my brothers must have left in the bathroom. Up until this point, I had pretended and thought that the types of guys I liked were conventionally attractive guys. I measured potential boyfriends against a list in my head that I never transcribed into my journal, which should have been my first clue it was nonsense. I wanted someone taller than me, older than me, physically adept, muscularly solid over skinny, and whom I could connect to with games, movies, or conversations. Basically, I described my brother Edmund and his teammates. I was never attracted to my brother, although his teammates I certainly had fantasized.
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