Older men were mature enough to supply the sexual experience she wanted. Younger men were fun and more energetic. They reminded her of who she was. And taking a total stranger back to her bed-sit? That was a risk she was prepared for. She trusted her knowledge of personalities and characters. Harry was too well known in the market community to be a great threat to her life. ‘Don’t get me wrong Helen. I’ve been watching you for a long time.’ He began to confess his interests in her, and she listened. ‘You and that other guy. The one I saw you with for weeks. Is he your boyfriend or a relative?’ ‘You mean Jack. He’s a boyfriend. I love him, or atleast I think I do.’ ‘Ah… you think? Now that is another thing.’ Harry gestured with his finger. ‘You have to be sure. He’s old enough to be your father. Am I right?’ Helen nodded her reply. ‘Good, see, now that is important. Guys like him only want you for sex. Well, that’s what I think anyway.’ ‘And guys like you?’ This made Harry think. He. In my mind, I can see a man grinning at me, watching my frail form tremble in confusion. But when I open my eyes the only thing that greets me is empty darkness. I sort of feel like my own thoughts are fabricating the images though, due to being able to see myself in them as if through someone else’s eyes. Is this my mind trying to fill in the missing pieces that it can’t see? Trying to rationalize what is happening so that it knows how to respond?The hardened footsteps move closer causing me to close my eyes quickly again. The images play of a man grabbing my hair and dragging me towards the center of the room. I can see my body flailing and hear myself screaming. I can hear the breathing and movements of multiple people just out of sight as if caught in a trance of what they see, and wanting more.I open my eyes to make the visions stop and take a breath in. Trying to calm myself, I take in several breaths and try to tell myself none of this is real. That is until I felt the sharp.
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