“Betty Crawford,” I replied quickly, without thinking. She genuinely laughed now. “Betty Crawford? That was seventh grade, Jared. You're telling me you never even kissed a girl in high school?” Now I actually did blush. “Well maybe it's because...” Without a word, Dani approached me, brushed her hair out of her face, and pressed her lips against mine. She pried my mouth open with her tongue, and we were making out. It felt great, but after several seconds I realized what was happening and pushed her away. “Dani!” “Jesus Christ, Jared, it was just a kiss.” She licked her lips. “See? You have no idea what you've been missing out on.” “Dani, this is so fucked up, I don't even want to think about it.” “Your boner hasn't gone away, Jared,” she smirked. “What's it going to take?” Slowly, she started to remove her tank top. “Dani... please... don't...” I said. But I could've closed my eyes, and I didn't. Despite the objections in my mind, my body was in control. She finished pulling her. The last time wasNovember 12th. The last time I made love to myself. Riding the bus,always the bus. Riding with old people, and punks, and ordinary people movingthrough their miserable pathetic lives. They're beautiful, fascinating and Istare at them one by one, never seeing them before and wondering if I'll eversee them again. They're uncomfortable, hating my bad manners. All except thepunks...They stare back. One pushes out his tongue and laughs and I smile,spreading my fingers in a V across my lips and slipping my pink wet tongue outin turn. A year ago I would have let him fuck me, sport fucking...Just to do itand hate myself later. Basking in my self-loathing. But now I'm the new me. Hegets up and sits down next to me, his friends teasing him, urging him on. The creakof his heavy leather jacket and the smell of the 40 he's still holding in apaper bag fill my senses. "Wannaparty?" He asks, looking down my open coat. "Withyou?" I turn around and look over his shoulder, "Or.
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