It’s up to you.”I asked, “What if I change my mind?”He said, “Let’s use a safe word, say… ‘BANANA’ and if you say this we will stop and undo the restraints. So, what do you think?”I had never been tied up. I remember seeing some porn but it looked evil and menacing. I wasn’t sure. As I was thinking about it I felt Joy’s fingers gliding over the shaved skin around my penis, “Look doctor, he is keeping his big clitoris shaved for you.”I felt the rush of blood as it washed through my cheeks and must have turned me beat red. Doctor Jackson said, “Thank you Tom. Did you do that just for me?”I lied, “Ah well yes. I thought…”He interrupted my thoughts by taking my hands and lifted them to the bar above my head. I felt him wrapping the wrist restraints around each as I looked into his eyes in total silence. I guess I was going to be restrained even though I hadn’t said yes yet. I felt the snap as he fastened the little belt buckles on each.He said, “Joy, please,” and I felt her wrapping the. Like I said, you need to move on. Notlive in the past. It's not good for you. Some things are best forgotten,paved over. Those days are gone." I hated her. This was so unfair."They're not gone. They're not. I won't forget. I can't and neither canSteph. You think you can just walk away from us, but you're leaving ushere with our past. It's not paved over, and it's not best forgotten. Ilove you and Dad. We were happy then, no matter what you say. You can'tjust order us to forget, it's not fair ..." My tears were flowing hotlydown my cheeks. My rage and misery made all the worse by seeing how mywords stuck her like a lash."Ken. Ken please. I came up here ... I didn't want to ... I mean, Iwanted you to help, to understand. I thought you could help your sister.Please Ken. Help me. I have tried to stay away, not to meddle and now,now I've made things worse by being here. You see why I said I couldn'tcome back. Please Ken. Just stop this and tell me you'll try. Try forme. Please. I don't.
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