"I thought you said these were professionals, Toni. In removals, not in demolition." She snipped, pinching the flesh between her eyes in a plea for the budding migraine to recede. "I'm sure it's all the same where they came from." The voice sighed on the other end, and Lynne knew her junior PA was otherwise distracted from the conversation."Was there a point to this call, Antonia?" She asked, saccharine sweetness lacing her voice in an effort to disguise her waning patience. Antonia Faroe was technically an intelligent women but with the unfortunate cross to bear in the form of her family wealth, the same family that owned her business in all but name. There was nothing like financial complacency to dull a bright spark. "Your banker called. The fat one." Well, that wasn't news. With a £2.5m mortgage in place for someone whose credit history really only spanned the last five years, she'd been giving poor Geoff the golden chalice of brokering jobs to get her contact locked down. With. When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked her what she had stolen from the store.The lady defiantly replied, "Just a stupid can of peaches."The judge then asked why she had done it.She replied, "I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store."The judge asked how many peaches were in the can.She replied in a nasty tone, "Nine! But why do you care about that?"The judge answered patiently, "Well, ma'am, because I'm going to give you nine days in jail -- one day for each peach."As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the lady's long-suffering husband raised his hand slowly and asked if he might speak.The judge said, "Yes sir, what do you have to add?"The husband said meekly, "Your Honor, she also stole a can of peas."Square TesticlesAn elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Ireland one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.After many.
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