I was successful, telling my guards not to allow her back to see me. And I denied her attempts to bail me out before the trial started just to avoid having to face her and see the betrayal in her eyes. I made the deal putting me in prison just so I would not have to face her. It was not a brave thing to do and any attempt to convince myself that I did it for them was false. I knew better. I knew the truth. I was afraid to face her. I was afraid she would tell me she didn't love me and that she wanted more than I was able to give her. I was afraid she would tell me that she loved that son of a bitch I almost killed, so I cut her out of my life. Ruben was a casualty of that fear: if he came, she would come with him and I would be able to see the truth in her eyes. That would have killed me then.Now I had some things to consider. Eileen told me when she visited that Nancy had sold the house and moved to a small town east of Columbus. She and Ruben lived alone and Nancy had gone to work. I was in control, but at the same time i desired his command. i was completely changing from only 15 minutes ago, and i couldn't be happier. i started to feel confidence, so i got more dirty with it. i spit on his tip and licked up from his balls like i was trying to make him cum in my mouth. "holy shit, theres no way this is your first time. yea yea just like that, oo don't stop. ur startin to be a good little dick suck" he moaned over the sound of me slopping on his dick. it wasn't enough, i wanted more. i wanted him to spank me harder, to cum in my mouth, i wanted him inside of me. his cock in my ass was all i could think about now. i was so horny that i decided now was my chance. i came up from his lap and gave him a soft kiss on the neck then lips. "you feel good baby" i said in his ear, "i feel alright, but a few more minutes might change that". i spit one last time on his cock, then i got on my hands and knees in the theater, spread my cheeks apart, and looked back at him.
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