I shuffled into the laundry room and unpacked the dirty clothes from my purse. Then I squeezed up the narrow stairway to my bedroom, fantasizing about a much needed shower. The tension of the long drive would melt away under massaging jets. Stepping out of the steamy bath, I dried myself and went to the mirror to wrap my hair. Accomplishing that deftly, I gave my tight abdominal muscles a self congratulatory thump and left the bathroom naked but for my head. Carefree nudity was one of the lesser perks of solitary living. I sauntered over to my bureau and opened the top drawer to find some lotion. As I dug through the myriad panties, I couldn't ignore the object buried beneath. It was my idol, my muse. El Torero, the only sex toy I owned. As my childhood finger sucking had grown more frequent I had begun to receive pleasure from more ordinary oral contact. Eating hotdogs or popsicles, even the rhythm of brushing my teeth got me wet. One weekend when I was 14, I was at a friends. Angelica laughed at the pout on Billy's blushing face as she said, "Andwith that look, you're going to tell me that you're not my little girl."Billy gave his mother an enraged glare, but he knew better than to comeup with a retort.Billy stewed for a moment before he told her he was going up to his room.Billy walked up the stairs and settled in his room. He laid down on hisbed and tried to put thoughts about being treated as a girl out of hismind.It was a futile effort though as the feminine clothing he was stillwearing, his manicure and the open closet exposing his feminine wardrobeall provided him with reminders of how the world was seeing him.Tears started to stream down as his face as he thought to himself, 'I wasa rich entrepreneur and guy. Now, look at me! I'm crying in my mom'shouse in a dress and working as her damn secretary. What kind of man amI? Jesus, how can I even think I'm a man when I dress like this? No! Inever wanted to be a girl, I just liked the way it feels.'Billy.
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