Mir gefiel diese Einladung, da ich sehr gerne passiv bin und mir gerne mein Loch bearbeiten lasse.Also verabredeten wir uns für den Abend um 19 Uhr. Ich sollte aber pünktlich um 19 Uhr, mit gespültem Loch, bei ihm sein. Er legte mir noch nahe, wirklich PUNKT 19 Uhr da zu sein und er duldet keine Minute später.Ich schaute auf die Uhr und sah, das es schon 16 Uhr und ich mindestens 45 Minuten bis zu ihm brauche.Also musste ich mich beeilen, denn ich musste mir ja noch mein Loch spülen. Es schaffte es zum Glück rechtzeitig fertig zu werden und mich auf den Weg zu ihm zu machen.Und was soll ich sagen.Da meine Anschlüsse mit S- und U-Bahn aber nicht klappten, war ich leider 3 Minuten zu spät bei ihm.Ich klingelte mit flauen Gefühl im Magen bei ihm, weil ich zu spät war.Ohne Begrüßung von ihm, musste ich bei ihm eintreten und er sagte nur im schroffen Ton das ich mich ohne Widerworte sofort komplett zu entkleiden habe und mich dann ins letzte Zimmer am Ende des Flurs zu gehen habe.Ich tat. Seth," I sighed and I was feeling it, the warmth of his voice in my tummy. "I don't know what I'm doing."I was telling him the truth, we both were, and I honestly didn't know if I was with him because I wanted to be, or if it was because I had no place else to go. I couldn't forgive myself for what I'd done and that was what he was trying to offer me. Seth wanted to love me, I thought. He'd said everything but that and his voice dripped with the desire to express his feelings. He'd forgive me for what I'd let him do to me. Seth would even take the responsibility, all of it ... if I let him.I'd known him for a single night and what did I feel now? Warm and safe, comfortable enough to be honest. I had no fear of him. Did I love him? I didn't know and somehow that seemed worse. His words thrilled me, like fingers stroking my wounded heart. Seth's voice was soothing and necessary, it was a moment unlike any other in my experience, laying on his bed and imagining a perfect night and.
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