My first time was with a girl named Abigail from somewhere in America. It was scary at first, but only for a minute. Abby is gone now. None of us talk about it. For me, there is no real difference between men and women for sex. There’s not much you cannot get used to. Hairy flesh on bones, sweating holes, throbbing little cocks oozing onto themselves like slowly crushed insects. A thousand bits of the senses that become one human animal stinking with desire - at once overwhelming and comically ephemeral. I have become dead to it all and attach nothing of myself to what my body is doing. But this moment is something altogether different and it scares me. I understand what Juliette means. Why she is nervous. We are exploring an unknown place together and neither is sure if it will be a sort of sanctum or if there is a danger hiding in that place, to one of us or both. I move closer to Juliette so that our lips are only inches apart and our bodies brush lightly against each other at. I’ve lived in the same house for over 30 years and don’t intend to go anywhere else. I love having coffee in the morning and BBQ in the evening on my patio. The neighbor’s behind me have only lived there a couple years. They are friendly enough but just don’t socialize. I’ve invited them over for coffee or eats but they always decline. The “neighborhood know it all” says it’s because they are ashamed. They have two sons, 21 and 23 that are both in prison, one for assault and the other for drugs. They have a big dog, Elvis that they ask me to feed if they are going to be gone a few days. I was having coffee one morning when Jim headed my way with a younger man with him. He opened the gate and came up to the patio. “Good morning Tim, I wanted to introduce my son, Harley. Beth and I will be gone for a week so Harley has come by to care for the house and yard.”Harley I suspected was the younger, he hardly looked 21. He was well built, sort of handsome but with a very sad face. Larry.
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