What on earth could I say to my wife and the mother of my children as I drove her to be fucked by another man? The etiquette books were strangely silent on that subject.Instead, as we drew closer and closer to Andy’s apartment, my chest grew tighter and tighter, my heart thumped louder and louder, my cock became painfully hard and tangled in my underwear, and I became angrier and angrier at my helplessness.I pulled into an empty space and switched off the engine. We sat in silence for almost a full minute before Amanda looked at her wristwatch and drew in a deep breath.“Mustn’t be late; not for the first appointment.”It was the longest sentence she had spoken to me since breakfast. My anger broke out.“First what, Amanda? Say it like it is, you told me.”My reply was hard and bitter, using her own words cruelly back at her. It was cruel and unjustified, but I couldn’t help myself.She simply laughed hollowly at y obvious discomfort.“Okay, Mister Junior Partner. If you insist, Mandy. Then there was the incident with the locket. We’d gone out to dinner and, sitting at a table, Eleanor suddenly reached across and touched it. The problem was that I had no recollection of having put it on. She opened it and there was a hank of black hair curled neatly inside it.I’d also had a couple of dreams about her but they were milder, less terrifying. In one she had whispered her mantra, “Mystery, different, fear.” Her lips had been close to my ear and I felt the warmth of her breath. In another, she had taken my hand and kissed it, her tongue working between my fingers, licking the webbing as she might have licked between my legs. Eleanor had, later, touched the front of my nightdress where it was wet. “I see our mutual friend paid you a visit?” Somehow, her apparently casual attitude to it made me feel safer, less disturbed, and gradually, through that year, I returned to a semblance of normality. But, I realised later, that her attitude was far less casual than I had.
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