’ ‘Hmm.’ Another silence, we were getting good at them. Then Nathan stood up and announced, ‘I’d better shoot off. I’m running the shift tomorrow.’ ‘Don’t go,’ I said, rising to my feet also, hardly even registering the words in my brain before they were out of my mouth. I surprised myself with the forcefulness of their tone, it even got a raised eyebrow from him. ‘Please,’ I amended. ‘Why shouldn’t I, Ellie? What should I stay for?’ He looked intently at me, and I found myself unable to break eye contact. There was something in his eyes, some sort of fire that made me forget that he was good old Nathan, friend and confidante and definitely not fanciable. If we had been characters in one of those bodice-ripping historical romance stories I’d had a thing for when I was about sixteen, he would have taken me roughly into his arms and kissed me senseless – as it was, he just stood there, and repeated, ‘What should I stay for?’ This was it, the make-or-break moment. And my desire for him. She also tried different feminine hairstyles, which was easy for her since she had a good, thick hair.She hardly used any feminine perfumes for obvious reasons; her mother would have smelled them when she came back home and that would have caused problems, both to him and to me.Due to the nature of my work, I worked mainly from home. For that reason, I did most of the house chores also. So I took care of the laundry, including Alex's girly clothes. That way Elise never needed to find out about them.Alex played the androgynous boy role in front of his mother as well as in public. That was his own choice and I respected that.Since my wife was often working late and often away from home, he had plenty of chances to be a girl. I suspected that my wife was having an affair with someone, but I didn't care enough to ask or even to pretend I was jealous.Yes, maybe I should have encouraged Alex to be himself (a girl) in public too. Of course, I would have supported him if he did. But we both.
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