You know very well you are expected to hand over all your assets to the government as a part of the new economic recovery legislation. And what do you do? You join an anti-government organization. Thankfully, it turns out the man you trusted most to protect your celebrity status was also one of our undercover agents. He said capturing you was the easiest assignment he ever had, and that's saying something from someone with 15 years on the job.? said Agent Y ?Here is the situation. You broke the law that says that no one can earn a professional living in the entertainment industry. You tried arranging your own tennis matches, for which people would be charged to see. Your assets and freedom were taken away as of yesterday, when we drugged you and brought you here. Your $4.5 million in property including jewelry, designer racquets, condos, sport cars, potential earnings from sponsorship have all been repossessed. We thank you for compliance, Ms. Yodovo?. said Agent X. . And she’s plenty smart, too. She graduated from Notre Dame Academy a couple years ago and enrolled at Saint Vincent University on an academic scholarship. She’s the captain of the Women’s Soccer team. She’s led them to victory over powerhouses like Boston University and Northeastern University recently. I am very proud of her. And that’s why this is so hard for me. I hate lying to my woman but I’ve been leading a double life. No, it’s not because I am bisexual. Jessica knows about my bisexuality. It doesn’t bother her. She’s absolutely cool with it. In fact, she thanked me for my honesty. Then we made passionate love all night long. Yeah, I have it good. These days, my life feels like it’s perfect. The Saint Vincent University football team, of which I am a member, recently defeated local powerhouses Boston College, New Hampshire University and Harvard. I think we can actually take the crown in NCAA Division One Football this year. Don’t quote me on this, though. I don’t want to jinx.
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