Numbers don't lie, I told myself — at least not as blatantly as some people.I phoned Onslow to apologize for abandoning him so rudely at the hotel. I told him I felt better. I also assured him that I was honored with his offer, very much so, and that I was certainly considering it seriously. I just had to clear a few personal issues first. He waved away my apologies. And he never asked about those issues. He just told me to take my time. Being careful about the decision was as important to them as it was to me.After the phone call I mused on how things had changed so rapidly. What had been a big dilemma only last week, now seemed to have turned into an opportunity, an escape. Almost like a rope of sheets tied together to get me out of this jail my life had suddenly become — a new start, as they say.I stared at the pen dangling between my fingers. A new start. Did I want one? Maybe my brain did. Between my brain and my heart, my brain always has the better judgment. And usually it. He used would be empty then.He told me to make the arrangements for my vacation, and he would seeme that night after work for one last session. I had not told, orconsulted with Carol, Cheryl, or mom about this, but I knew I would doit, I had to.I was nervous all day, but kept silent about my plans, had my vacationapproved, then realized, about three that afternoon that I would haveto tell mom. There was no way I could avoid it. I mean, I just couldnot disappear for maybe a week without telling her, so I called her,and asked her to meet me at five. I was waiting for mom when she walkedin, took her to one of the private offices, and told her what I wasgoing to have done. Not one word came out of her mouth for what seemedlike an eternity, then...."Are you sure this is the right thing for you to do Kelly? This ismajor surgery, and not to be taken lightly, and on top of that, you'llhave to dress as a woman all of the time, which apparently, is what youwant to do. Does this have anything.
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