Am I supposed to impress them?"Whadda ya want?" says the balding barman, wiping a grubby hand againsta stained T-shirt.I look behind the bar, even though my mind is racing, they have bottledbeers... looking at the hygiene in this place, it seems a safe bet."Err.. one, no... two of those?" I say pointing, an idea forming in mymind."You got the cash?" he asks, eyes narrowing. "We don't take cards here." Err.. Spikes tab?" I say guessing and to my relief he nods. Okay, shewants me here, it must be a test, hmm.. possibly to see if I'm not justa simpering sissy? I mean there's loads of them to choose from. But Ineed to be different, I need to stand out... be special.The two bottles get places on the bar, a little heavily so one starts tofroth... okay I was a teenage boy, I can do this! I get the bottle andneck it, swallowing the whole frothy contents in one go... I.. I'm goodat swallowing... Dammit, I hate these American beers, but I can feel thetrapped air inside me. I resist the urge to. Knowing that there was no way that we could get that accomplished and the city sewage lines were a couple miles away, my parents looked for an alternative solution. In the meantime the outhouse was our old standby.This was getting frustrating because in the small cluster of homes, several of the women had far too little to do, so they filled their time watching the goings on at our house, in addition to other homes. I remember one summer day, the one neighbor who lived behind and adjacent to the property line, watched and then called Mom, asking if one of us were sick because we had used the outhouse several times that afternoon.After chemical toilets were considered and discarded as un-applicable, composting also, Dad found a store that had THE ANSWER!!!! The salesman assured him that this toilet would have no smell and only a weekly maintenance of removing a tablespoon of dry odorless ash.Praises be!!! No longer would we have the disgustingly bad choice between a chamber pot that.
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