Paper towels and toothpaste. Fast food. All-American Girl stuff. There are hundreds of actresses at my level. I was the middle-management of actresses.One day my agent had the paperwork for my Screen and Stage Actors' Guild card, and she told me I had to pretty much decide who I wanted to be for the rest of my life. Fuck. The rest of my life. No pressure.She said that I was going to have to lose 'Lucy.' Too many associations. "You're not a comedienne. You're not funny. Don't let it go there."I was in the middle of an off-off-Broadway production of Othello, and I was drawing packed houses and getting rave reviews. Nathan suggested 'Desdemona.' "It's a new life for you, Lu. Desdemona was beautiful. She's the ideal of womanhood."My agent thought (and I privately agreed) that it was too dramatic. We settled on 'Lydia," although now I can't remember why or where it came from, but it had a nice ring to it. Nathan still called me Des when we were alone.My parents still called me Lucy.My. This is so good, and I’m very happy that we waited the way we did. I think we all wanted to be like Janet and have a chance at being wild and crazy, but Janet even became celibate and waited to find you. This is so good that I just don’t want to quit.”Janet pushed Gin off while telling her, “Give the man a break and give me a shot at him. I need him at least once before he leaves if he’s going to be gone for a week.”Jazzy was the last of the five to be loved, and I knew it was by design for both of us. We had some kind of special connection. We fell asleep with me still inside Janet, but I was softening and drooling around our centers.Beep, beep, beep, beep.It took a couple of seconds to realize that my cell phone was ringing. “Miller.”Chuck’s voice said, “Get up, get dressed in your BDUs, grab your duffel bag, and meet me in front of the patio. I’ll be there in fifteen. There’s a problem we have to fix.” He hung up so I knew that he was serious.I moved over Janet and checked the.
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