.. that's all I managed to tell him, because I started to cry, I sat down on something because I felt my knees tremble and I could fall ... I didn't feel absolutely nothing in those moments just fear! In my erotic fantasies such things were extremely exciting, but now that it really happens ... I felt scared! fear not only for my bodily integrity, I didn't know this man at all he can do anything to me, he can **** me and then even kill me ... what my parents will say, my relatives and everyone else who didn't know absolutely nothing about this side of me ... everyone will denigrate me, hate me and make fun of me for all these shameful things ... I will be humiliated in public in front of everyone ... All these thoughts made me I cry even louder ...- Please don't cry anymore ... if you want we'll get back in the car and take you back. I'm sorry, I wanted it to be a surprise, I didn't want to scare you, he said at one point ...I felt his caress on my shoulder. I didn't react in any way. They aren't a reality.”He held up his hand, “Let me continue, Pam. They are fantasies and I love that we play those games together. But if you being with another man became real, I would be okay with it with some conditions.”I was flabbergasted and exclaimed, “How could you ever be okay with it? I don’t understand at all!”“Let me explain,” Rob said. “I have thought about this before the event.” As he now referred to it. “Now that you and Jack have shared a bit of physical intimacy, it only solidifies my thinking in how I feel. There is a word I came across that sums it up in a nutshell. It’s called ‘compersion’. Have you heard of it before?”I thought hard and could not place the term. I looked at him and asked, “No, what does it mean?”Rob replied, “It’s hard to explain and possibly harder to understand. Let me give you an analogy. Remember when your mom married Joe after your dad’s death?“I nodded my head affirmatively.“Remember how you told me how happy you were for your mom that.
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