Then my best friend Dave comes up to me, and he looks ....My heart skips a beat just looking at him.He takes my hand, we dance, and I love the feeling of his strong armsaround me.By the time the dance ends I'm trembling with a feeling I cant put myfinger on.Then he kisses me, and I can name it.I'm in love with him.I want him to hold me, and kiss me, and do things I am not equipped forwith me ....Then I wake up, crying.I dont know what to do about this.I dont know who I can talk to.I know dreams aren't real, but it comes from somewhere, but where?And its not just the dream. Sometimes, I look at myself in the mirror, andI look .... wrong, somehow. I look and I half-expect to see the girl frommy dream looking back at me.And the fact she doesn't is a grief I cant even begin to describe ....I've got to pull myself together, shake this off somehow.I wish I had someone to talk to about this, but who?My dad is a man's man, he's counting on me to follow in his footsteps. Goto collage, be the. Despite her youth, she had that manipulative act down pat! Are all woman born with it? I shook my head, and lit a cigarette.Denying me sex because she was angry wasn't really that big a hardship for me. That type of behavior was annoying, at most. While I had gotten used to sleeping with Mariel, I had sleep alone for more years than she had yet lived.My servant came in and announced that the coffee was ready. I stabbed out my smoke, and went into my office where I kept the makings for coffee. I poured myself a large mug full. It was that type of morning.It should be easy to know what to do and how to react, but it wasn't. The Gods said one thing, the demons another, and now the Ancients said yet something else. Vostich was firmly in the God's camp, and I was a in agreement with them, myself.My short visit with the demons had not filled me with the fear, worry, and loathing I had expected. Then being captured by the Ancients and released the next day, did not sit at all with what I.
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