Its distance is limitless to those of us who wish to reach for it, but at times we feel as though the further we reach the further away it seems to be. But today, as I talk to you, blue is the color of my pain. As I sit here at my computer desk, I play with the buttons on the keyboard of my PC trying to understand exactly what got me down today. I have so many things on my mind, especially him. One of my best friends, Michael Davis is the one who’s on my mind something fierce today. No wonder I can’t write anything today. ‘I’m not ready for a relationship right now. I have always tried to make that clear to you when we first met, Camille. I’m so sorry. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt your feelings. I am honored that you feel that way about me, but to be honest I can’t understand what you see in me,’ he told me the other day. I let the sounds of the television linger around me, although I can’t make out what’s on the screen because I can’t pay attention to that right now.. ..”“Whenever you say, Francie. You know I want to.” She gave me a little peck and we went into the mall.“If you want to do some shopping and meet me, I’m just going to Barnes and Noble.”“There’s a book you can’t get on Amazon?”“I want it right now,” I laughed at my sister. She’d shit when she saw what I bought.The truth was that I loved bookstores and libraries. Getting to spend every afternoon in the school library was not going to be a problem for me. By the time I checked into the nursing home with Renie, nearly everything was on my Kindle. I liked it for the convenience and the fact that I could change the type-size or light conditions if I wanted. But I missed the feel and texture of paper books in my hands. There were precious few bookstores left anymore. I could stand to spend some time in them.I found what I wanted pretty quickly. There were different sizes and colors and I chose one that felt comfortable. I knew I had plenty of time, so I went back to the section New Age.
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