!!!I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.Note:If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer,one note of caution:There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor!A three second burst would be considered conservative!A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative. “But we can’t find our way back to the parking lot!” shouted Jada. “You don’t realize how crazy it is here!”“So what, lady? It’s crazy everywhere! How can you be so selfish? We’re in the mother of all national emergencies, over half my force is staying home to be with their families, and you idiots are complaining that you can’t find your way out of a building that you shouldn’t be in anyway?! Who the hell do you think you are?”“What?! What are you talking about?!”” cried Hannah. “My parents are probably worried sick about me! They’re probably searching the mall right now.”“I doubt it,” replied the officer. “Not with the roads closed...” The light finally dawned. “What the ... My God, you kids don’t know, do you? The news broke yesterday evening. Where’ve you all been, Mars?!”“Good guess,” said Mark, “but no.”“Just turn on the damn TV and call back tomorrow ... if there is a tomorrow.” And with that, the police dispatcher hung up on them.“What?! The bastard!” shouted Hannah in very.
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