. not much, but....It took me close to three years, but I finally had resolved to tell my mom. As I've told before, there was finally the right place, the right time, and then I discovered that I just couldn't go through with it. I couldn't face the possibilities of her disappointment in me. As it turns out, I never did find the courage to tell her.It all goes back to the question of maintaining "face". After having been so universally disregarded and despised, and then having had things somewhat better when I'd reached adulthood, maintaining people's regard for me became all-important. I couldn't face the possibility of going back to that place where everyone thought I was kind of strange.It took me a long time to get over that. Long time? Yeah. I came out to a few people, privately, in the late 1980's. In the early 90's I got involved with a gender program in Milwaukee, went through all the sessions and groups and testing, and finally had a firm diagnosis (which, of course, only. This is what money's for." Hold that thought until after you pay this month's American Express bill."Stan entered the kitchen door and stopped. He held on to the doorknob with one foot still in the air. "Thank god last night wasn't a dream. If I'm still dreaming, don't dare wake me up. You can leave, Bob. You could be the beginning of a nightmare."Bob rubbed his whiskers and said, "Shut up until I get this coffee down and put your robe back on, Sandy. My hands are starting to shake." Stay as you are, Sandy," said Stan, "you've sent out a wake up call to my libido."Jan undid another button.Bob and Stan sat at the table. Jan took Bob's cup and added more coffee. She leaned over to return it. "Lordy, lordy," said Bob, "I never knew we had such a spectacular view in the kitchen. My compliments to the decorator." Or the décolletage? Thank you kind sir," said Jan.Everyone smiled and Sandy said, "You guys have created sexpots. We're offering you a little brain candy to get the day.
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