He had the right to take me by force, and he plainly wanted me (I felt him pressing below), but he was waiting for my next move, allowing me to set the pace. So I pulled him to me and extended my tongue just for a moment, encouraging him to resume what he was doing.He resumed. His tongue moved along my lips, tasting me. Then, just the slightest bit, it went inside my lips. I allowed it. At that I felt a bit of excitement and perhaps some desire. I allowed more, and inevitably his tongue found mine. He caressed, he did not overpower. That was more excitement, I felt something below. Suddenly I was scared and I broke the kiss, I don’t know why.Then I realized, I broke the kiss because it was working to excite me.My husband - I realized I now thought of him that way - was smiling down on me, looking very pleased. He knew what I was thinking about desire. I was shy about what I had allowed and how I felt because of it. Could I still be a good girl if I learned so fast?He said the perfect. For a few weeks after, you resist your stash of women’s clothing. You tell yourself that you’ve shaken the habit.Then, one night alone at home, you feel bored. A little frisky! Just like one drink can’t do any harm with an alcoholic, just dressing one more time to relieve the loneliness; the sexual tension built up over a few weeks of abstinence; and the boom, can’t hurt. Can it?You find yourself reliving that night. Aroused by the sexual intensity, the girlyness; the sissiness and the humiliation of it. And the intense and nauseating feeling of worthlessness and shame when you have ejaculated into your panties.You thought that when you married and settled into married life and regular sexual activity with your wife it would all stop and go away.I’d didn’t.Instead, you find yourself preferring sex with your wife whilst she is dressed. You try to hide that you are more aroused by her clothes than her naked body. You pass it off as a little hapless kinkiness.Eventually, you start.
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