It was that kinda night."He looked away from me, at the door back to the living room. When he looked back, he was trying to be cool, "Ok. I'll send her home an' we'll talk." Peter had the worst poker face I had ever seen. Blind men could read it."Don't. I just need a couple minutes alone then you two can fuck all night."He didn't want to look relieved but he was. "So what happened? Wait; start with why you called me. I should have paid more attention. Sorry." Peter, not even." Like he ever needs to apoligise to me. "I called 'cause the date was with Ame." ... who is?" Peter asked, clearly not remembering her."The one with the nails." He still didn't remember her. "The one you put a very specific 'no touch' rule on." Oh. Rules conflict. Fuck her, but don't touch her. Tricky. Did you?" Fucked up any chance I had with her. Does that count?"He winced. "Sorry. I take it you are not cool about that." She's perfect. She's like ... she's like..." only Peter would understand the truth.. Then all day we were going for walks, and looking round castles, and eating in restaurants, and basically spending every minute together as a family. At night, my bed was barely a foot away from Ryan, so I could touch myself but not with nearly enough speed or friction for pleasure or he would notice. I even tried doing it in the caravan bathroom and any public toilets we stopped at, but without the noise of a shower drowning out my breathing, I didn't want to risk being overheard. I couldn't even sneak out to the shower blocks because they were locked at night.After three days, it was affecting my sleep and my cramps were getting worse. I was putting on my night-dress in the bathroom and I realised I absolutely had to get off or I wouldn't be able to get any rest. But how do you bring that up with your brother?Back in the bedroom, I lay down underneath the covers. Ryan was in the other bed on top of the blankets playing a computer game – in fact, that game never left his hands most.
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